The next chapter

Well, we made it through the holiday season (just barely). :) It was a pretty rough week or so while Brynn was back in the hospital. She continued to drain fluid from her chest for several days. We were pretty sure we were going to end up there over Christmas since they really didn't want to pull the chest tube until they were 100% certain she had stopped accumulating fluid but fate decided to clog the tube, forcing them to pull it and avoid infection. Luckily, an infection did not occur and the premature chest tube removal allowed us to go home earlier than we were expecting!

Unfortunately, things are never exactly without complications in the hospital. We are now pretty sure that Brynn had some nasty stomach bug that didn't seem to be bothering her too badly, but proceeded to infect everyone who came in contact with her. It started with Tony a few days after Brynn had been hospitalized. I rushed over to relieve him when he called and found him barely able to stand he was so sick. Forty-eight hours later I came down with it. Tony wasn't completely better yet so our families stepped in to help care for Brynn. At that point she was still in 3 West and could not really be left alone since the nursing care in that unit is not the best (the ratio is 3 or 4 patients to 1 nurse). My mom took a day off of work (and would have done more if she hadn't slipped and gotten a concussion a day later). My cousin Hillary came all the way down to Santa Rosa to help. Tony's mom did more of her fair share of early morning shifts and overnights. Tony's dad took time off work to stay with Brynn. Tony's brother and his girlfriend even gave up their Friday night to do an overnight with Brynn. I don't know what we would have done without them. There was nothing worse than feeling so helpless and not being able to do anything to help care for my daughter. We would have been truly lost without the support of our families and are forever grateful for their continued generosity.

And how were all these amazing people and their acts of kindness and selflessness repaid? By getting the stomach flu on Christmas of course! Like a horrible game of dominos every person who came in contact with Brynn during those three days came down with the bug one by one. Tony finally felt better by Christmas Eve and was able to get Brynn when she was discharged that afternoon. But we spent our first Christmas at home watching old movies and eating Chinese food while our families recovered from the gift that just kept on giving!

Despite all the ups and downs, we felt very lucky to have Brynn home with us and to be together. We know what a gift it was to not be spending Christmas in the hospital, and to finally have a healthy happy baby at home.

It is amazing to see how fast Brynn is growing now that we are home and her surgeries are behind her. She likes to spend most of her awake time sitting up (with help of course) and playing with any toy that lights up or makes noise. She loves books and even likes to practice turning the pages. She is babbling non-stop, blowing bubbles, drooling like crazy, and letting you know at the top of her lungs if she is bored, hungry, tired, or needs a diaper change. Her favorite food is her fist (pacifier, what pacifier?) and her favorite past time is whining (adorable and incredibly annoying all at the same time). No solid foods yet since she is still on the Monogen, but we are hoping for the okay for rice cereal after February 6th when she can go back to regular formula.

Our only setback since we've been home was a yucky cold that Brynn got and of course shared with us. We were both really scared that it would put us right back in the hospital since we have heard so much about heart kids getting pneumonia or developing respiratory problems even from a simple cold virus. And let me tell you, it was a nasty cold virus! Brynn recovered remarkably quickly from the bug but 10 days later I was still taking cold medicine and blowing my nose every five minutes.

With the holidays and the sickies out of the way, the big task before me was to find Brynn a nanny. I go back to work on Monday. It has been five months since I stepped foot in the office. When I left I was eight months pregnant, it was 90 degrees out, and I had never changed a newborn's diaper. Crazy to think about! I was feeling pretty anxious about trying to find someone I could trust, someone who would take good care of Brynn inside our home, and someone who would be willing to do it for a pretty nominal fee. Thankfully, I think we have found that person.

She has been over a couple of times to get to know Brynn and learn her routine (okay, I don't really have a strict routine down but there are general guidelines) and to see if the job was something she really wanted. There are days I find it incredibly isolating, lonely, and sometimes even boring to be at home all day with an infant and she's MY kid so I really wanted to find someone who could cope with the long hours of minimal adult interaction and a fussy baby who wants ALL of your attention RIGHT NOW! I really hope we have found a good fit and that our nanny will be with us for a long time.

It's hard for me even now at home with the nanny here (I can hear Brynn fussing in the other room) and I really want to jump up and make it all better but I know that they need time to figure each other out. I think it might actually be easier when I go back on Monday and don't have to hear her crying or upset. I know getting back to work will be a transition but I am hoping that it is going to be a positive experience. At least I know the extra income will be!

Our hope for this next year is to spend lots of time focusing on Brynn and keeping her healthy. I'm hoping to finally get my LCSW exam completed and passed. I'm hoping we have lots of time to just be together as a family and not have to worry quite so much about hospitals, doctors, and surgeries.

Thank you to everyone for your messages of support and hope during the three weeks Brynn was in the hospital last month. It really meant a lot to us to have so many people praying for Brynn and for us during that difficult time. Here's to a new year and a happy and healthy baby!